dear pamela anderson

Hmmmm...I'm pretty sure the last time I saw this, I was at a bridal shower and we were using toilet paper instead of sheets. I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I'm thinking that you've escalated 'taking a sheet' to a whole new level...if you get my drift. It could just be me, but if I was attending the Hollywood STYLE Awards...not that that will ever happen...I'm just sayin'...If I were going to that type of shindig, I'm pretty sure if I didn't have anything to wear, I would probably just purchase a dress from the hotel boutique rather than absconding with the Ritz Carlton's room decor. Of course, what do I know. I'm from the Ohio where we hang nuts around our necks and have designated 'crocs' to be our state shoe. However, I will give you props for helping your little side kick there earn her girl scout sewing merit badge. I'm sure by the look on her face that meant alot to her.

Alright...enough of that. Here is my suggestion of what to wear next time. And, if you ever decide to do this...this...whatever this is again, you might want to invest in the Illeana Makri safety pin earrings for $3500. Fashion meets function. I'm pretty sure no one in these parts has ever thought about putting diamonds on a safety pin and wearing them as jewelry. At least no one we allow out without their meds.

Poke me with a fork, I'm done, Miss Bea.