US Weekly's Most Stylish New Yorkers Party

Hello my lovelies...did you think I had forgotten you? sigh...why must life get in the way of blogging? It seems so unfair doesn't it? But, unless Joanna Coles or Anna Wintour want to bankroll my hobby, I guess you'll have to settle for intermittent blog posts from me. I could blog at work I suppose, but somehow I don't think my manager would find that a "value-add".

...DO NOT get me started on corporate buzzwords...

Anyway, I was stalking the latest parties and what-not on the internet and I stumbled across "US Weekly's Most Stylish New Yorkers Party"...which the name alone, I would think, would give one pause. Just a quick rabbit trail here...when did people start naming parties? I mean, I understand if it's for a cause like world hunger or Pee Wee Herman's comeback, but "Most Stylish New Yorkers"??? C'mon. If you're going to name a party, at least be honest about it. Like...uhmmm..."US Weekly's Our Readership Is Down We Need A Lame Excuse To Get Joe Shmoe To Buy Our Rag So We're Hosting A Party In Hopes Of Attracting A Few Celebs Of Which We Can Take Pictures".

...insert the sound of crickets here...

Okay, I admit it's a little long, but at least it's honest.

So, back to the topic at hand and a couple party goers who obviously need a little fashion advice.

er hum...


Little, adorable, talented Kristin Chenoweth. I could just eat her with a spoon she's so cute. But for some reason, I was not aware that her forehead had it's own zip code.

What the Samhill is up with that? I don't know if you watch "Project Runway" or not...stay with me people, I am actually heading towards a point...so Project Runway...Heidi Klum is sporting some major bangs on Season 8, so I thought maybe I could start a non-profit organization called "Share Hair"...I had considered naming it "Have A Bang" but thought that would draw a whole different crowd. Anyways, the whole idea behind it would be for celebrities to borrow each others hair...especially if it's an emergency, like obviously this is.

 I still have to work out the logistics and write the business plan, but I think it has potential. Interested investors can contact me at 1-800-SHR-HAIR or www.getalife.com.

And then we have Wendy Williams.

Someone please help me understand how this woman ever landed her own talk show? I don't mean to sound rude, but really...if her brains were dynamite, she wouldn't even be able to blow her nose...bless her little heart...that really is little because it's being crushed between those big bazoombas.

So...this is what she chose to wear to the "Most Stylish New Yorkers Party"...

I've said this before, but it bears repeating... 

Yes, black is slimming. But a ton of black is still a ton of black. And where I come from in the U.S. midwest, the only thing those shoes are good for is a fast track to a hip replacement. That and skewering spiders in corners.

I really appreciate the fact that you wore something modest to cover up 'the girls', but next time, try for fabrics that flow and move rather than taking them hostage in a top that rivals a large piece of Saran Wrap. If that thing blows honey, we'll be cleaning up boobage for miles.

Ta-tas for now, Miss Bea