size 2 is now a 6 is now a 12

Can I just say how 'poke-me-with-a-fork-I'm-done' I am with looking for a new pair of jeans? Lord have mercy, I nearly lost my salvation the other day in a JC Penney's dressing room. And don't even get me started on skinny jeans. Who the @!%%##&**! can wear those except a 5'10" willowy emaciated model? I tried a pair on and I literally laughed outloud. I looked like an overstuffed pastry bag. I mean, really. Anyway, a couple years ago I purchased a pair of Black House White Market jeans that I absolutely crazy monkey love. I admit...I've gained the usual menopause 10...so instead of a size 4, I'm a size 8...or at least I 'think' I'm a size 8. Nonetheless, these jeans are a boot cut...slim thru the thigh, modestly flare out from the knee, mid rise...my legs look long and lean in them, and they are not skin tight...very comfortable. I remember thinking to myself, "Thank goodness. I've finally found my perfect jean." Problem solved, I never have to worry about this again. So, when I was in the market for a new pair...which is now...I went back to BHWM...confidently walked to the size 8's, plucked several pairs off the rack...same style as the previous pair, went back to the fitting rooms and could barely pull them up. What??!!! (just a side note...I wanted to type WTF, but I'm against using profanity...well...I'm against using profanity most of the time...I'm trying to be better about that cuz if my 84 year old mother would read it...well...it wouldn't be pretty) Anyway, it's not like I've gained weight, because I truly haven't. And, the older jeans that are a size 8 still fit, so it has to be a fluctuation in the sizing...right? So if I can't find a consistent size within the same brand, what the H-E-double toothpicks am I supposed to do across brands??!!!

oh arggghhhh to infinity...

There's a really good article on Slate, written by Julia Felsenthal...probably the best comprehensive thing I've read about the 'sizing' debacle. Here's an excerpt that I found sadly fascinating.

ASTM International, a private organization that comes up with voluntary product standards, has, since 1995, published a table of body measurements for women’s sizing, using the basic nomenclature and system developed by the 1958 commercial standard. The ASTM recommendations have evolved over time to accommodate a very real trend: vanity sizing. Women don’t want to know their real size, so manufacturers re-label bigger sizes with smaller numbers. In 1958, for example, a size 8 corresponded with a bust of 31 inches, a waist of 23.5 inches and a hip girth of 32.5 inches. In ASTM’s 2008 standards, a size 8 had increased by five to six inches in each of those three measurements, becoming the rough equivalent of a size 14 or 16 in 1958. We can see size inflation happening over shorter time spans as well; a size 2 in the 2011 ASTM standard falls between a 1995 standard size 4 and 6. (This may also explain why smaller sizes are constantly invented. The 1958 standard listed 8 as its smallest size. The 1995 ASTM standard listed a size 2. In 2011, ASTM lists a standard for size 00.)

I don't know about you, but I felt like a well-upholstered chunk of blubber after reading that. But, it totally made sense, because whenever I try to try on vintage clothes...I can barely squeeze into a size 14...and that's with some spanx, a couple ace bandages and a vat of vaseline.

The fat-shaming of America by Spanish retailer 'Zara'.

  ...sigh...I need to go eat something, Miss Bea