It has recently come to my attention that it might not be a bad idea to have "the talk"...you know the one...where your mom sits you down...
nervously nibbles at a nasty hangnail...
sighs in resignation...
and tells you the facts of life...
about leather pants.
Yes. I'm talkin' unforgiving, yeast producing, bovine blistering luh-hea-thuh pants. So a couple fashion tips for anyone considering purchasing or wearing a pair...
er hum...
1)Unless Gisele Budchen loaned you her legs, or you have the petite little body of a Victoria Beckham, skip the leather jumpsuit and sink the money into a nice purse and support bra. Tyra-dear...yea, I'm talkin' to you.
2)If it looks like the cow is still in the leather pants after you've put them on, you might want to consider changing into some spanx and a caftan. Get the picture Kimmie?
3)If it even remotely appears that your leather pants may have been borrowed from your husband's side of the closet...either buy your own or wear some boots. Katie-buy a friggin' clue.
4)When purchasing leather pants, it's not a good sign if the cashier offers you a complimentary shoe horn, a tube of Vaseline and a 6 month supply of Vagisil. Just take that as a sign to put the pants back on the rack. Your vagina will thank you later.
Ladies...now listen up...not everyone looks good in everything. We all have figure flaws and figure "assets"...some of us larger than others. But hey, the key is not to bemoan the flaws, but to enhance the good. So, save a cow...the veganistas will love you! Miss Bea
nervously nibbles at a nasty hangnail...
sighs in resignation...
and tells you the facts of life...
about leather pants.
 |
| Tyra Banks . Kim Kardashian . Katie Holmes |
er hum...
1)Unless Gisele Budchen loaned you her legs, or you have the petite little body of a Victoria Beckham, skip the leather jumpsuit and sink the money into a nice purse and support bra. Tyra-dear...yea, I'm talkin' to you.
2)If it looks like the cow is still in the leather pants after you've put them on, you might want to consider changing into some spanx and a caftan. Get the picture Kimmie?
3)If it even remotely appears that your leather pants may have been borrowed from your husband's side of the closet...either buy your own or wear some boots. Katie-buy a friggin' clue.
4)When purchasing leather pants, it's not a good sign if the cashier offers you a complimentary shoe horn, a tube of Vaseline and a 6 month supply of Vagisil. Just take that as a sign to put the pants back on the rack. Your vagina will thank you later.
Ladies...now listen up...not everyone looks good in everything. We all have figure flaws and figure "assets"...some of us larger than others. But hey, the key is not to bemoan the flaws, but to enhance the good. So, save a cow...the veganistas will love you! Miss Bea
 |
| Styled for Tyra Banks . Katie Holmes . Kim Kardashian by Miss Bea Heyvin |
1 comment:
Haha! You definitely have a point here. I can't believe how inappropriate Tyra's jumpsuit is for the occasion too!
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