dear daisy duke

Actress Catherine Bach @ The 2012 Daytime Emmy Awards

This kind of looks like a sack full of raccoons fighting over a french fry. I may be wrong, but I think someone misunderstood the phrase 'you have a good biscuit' with 'have a good biscuit'. Anyhoo...this dress just clings in all the wrong places...accentuating saggy tatas and a thick middle. The ruching at the neck would be better about 6 inches lower, across the abdomen...creating a waistline and camouflaging a poochie tummy. And, when wearing something that has a high neckline and long sleeves, it's always good to balance the coverage by showing a little skin somewhere...either an open back or some great gams.

Styled for Catherine Bach by Miss Bea Heyvin

Yeeeee-hawwwwww y'awl, Miss Bea

dear susan lucci

If you've ever wondered why you never see anyone over the age of 40 wearing a slip dress...well...now you know why.

Would I love to look this great at age 65? You bet! Do I think Susan Lucci needs to dial it down on the sex kitten image? Does the pope wear holey underwear? (smirk)

Susie...sweetie...no matter how great of shape you think you're in, trust me...no one wants to see their grandma in her slip, with bloody chicken feet dangling from her ears.

Styled for Susan Lucci by Miss Bea Heyvin

dollah make you hollah

Speaking of flip flops, this Saturday, June 30th, Old Navy will be selling their flip flops for a buck! A BUCK PEOPLE!!! You can't get a happy meal for that. woo hoo! Miss Bea

my 2012 flip flops

June 21st, officially the first day of summer...which seems a little weird since every retailer on the planet is already slashing prices on summer items. Still, there are few things that say summer to me more than my annual trek to find my summer flip flops. I remember as a little girl, going with my mom to the Five & Dime store at the beginning of summer, and selecting my 'thongs'...which is what they used to be called before the French decided to introduce us to their underwear. I remember wearing those things (flip flops that is) until they were wafer thin and the part between the toes finally said 'uncle'. They used to be fairly ho-hum and not really considered serious footwear, but as of late, they've been elevated to a whole new level of cuteness and sass. Here are a few of my favorites from this season. Enjoy! Miss Bea

Havaianas $24

By Ipanema $24

Vintage Floral at Figleaves $23

Peach macrame by WetSeal $12.50

Paisley by Torrid $13.65

Ugg's $50

JCPenney Mix & Match 2 pair for $4
(Cute idea...wear the stripe on one foot and the solid on the other)

Gray bow with bling by Torrid $13.65

love you dad

Donald and Kiefer Sutherland

This is fun...vintage pictures of celebrity dads and their kids. Warms your heart. Happy Dad's Day everyone! Miss Bea

dear candice bergen

Candice Bergen at the 2012 Tony Awards

'People complain about parts for women, people complain about getting old,'... 'It’s a privilege to get old. The reality is that I don’t look like I used to look. I just don’t care enough, and in a way it’s saved me.' ~Candice Bergen, March 2012

So I'm a little stunned...I guess I haven't seen Candice Bergen in a while. It made me wonder what's going on in her life so I did a little research. Seems she's run into some health issues. For more on that, click here. Despite the obvious weight gain (which could be from medication), she looks radiant and is keeping busy performing on Broadway in Gore Vidal's 'The Best Man'. So big props for her...no pun intended.

Okay Candice...but all of that does not give you a pass on your fashion. Lest you think me totally loathsome, I really do understand the getting older thing and covering up the body parts that just aren't as vava-licious as they once were. But this...this...oversized upholstery slipcover that you're wearing as a jacket is...well, you know what it's like? Like a three legged cat on a marble floor trying to cover it's you know what. It's drawing more attention than it is concealing.

For me, I think I would put you in a nicely tailored sheath dress and a darker blonde hair color...maybe even a wig if your hair is thinning. (most true blondes have thin hair anyway) Here's a great dress by Nicole Farhi that would have been stunning. You can still see curves, but the perforated sheath hides a multitude of...you know...stuff.

Styled for Candice Bergen by Miss Bea Heyvin

Love you Candice and wish you all the best! Miss Bea

one can only hope...

I hope that in her next life, Shirley Maclaine will hire a stylist and that Meryl Streep will stop channeling Ma Walton.

Lord have mercy...Miss Bea

dear anna wintour and SJP

Okay...I was going to keep my big pie hole shut...I've been able to control myself for a couple days, but honestly, my head is about to launch from my body and start orbiting the moon. Have you seen these videos yet?

If you tried to click on them, I'm sorry...but I refuse to provide the link. If you don't know, Anna Wintour and Sarah Jessica Parker think that you would just love to dine with them and the president at their home(s) in Manhattan.

...oh goodie. (she said dripping with sarcasm)

For a donation to the Obama campaign...any amount you want...no really...you can give a buck or a thousand bucks...just sign up...plunk down the cash and maybe, just maybe you'll be selected.

Repeat after me. W-H-E-N  P-I-G-S  F-L-Y.

What a snooty, self-aggrandizzing, elitest, 1% thing to do. Talk about 'out-of-touch'. I'm embarrassed enough for the both of them.

Tell you what...I would plunk down some serious change if you would come to my house for dinner. We'll have gravy over everything and I'll introduce you to 10 of my friends who are unemployed right now who could live for a couple months off of a pair of your Louboutins.

Get your head out of your you-know-what and get a clue, Miss Bea

June 17, 2012******
You know...what goes around comes around. (she smiled wickedly)
http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/anna_makes_sjp_chic_for_u0b7xNFao48Rrckcwpm2FO

article du jour

Some interesting articles...kind of a mish-mosh of items...even so, I thought I would pass them along to you.

• Cracking down on photoshop images in cosmetic ads. Click here.
• Lucky magazine shares some crazy tchotchkes from the Queen's Jubilee celebration. 
• Summer nail polish pairings for toes and fingers.
• 2012 CFDA Awards...lotsa pics on Huff Post.
• Cool sunglasses under $50.
• Travel and Leisure article about the worst dressed American cities.

Happy reading! Miss Bea