18 September 2012

dear kate middleton

So regarding this whole breast debacle...

First of all, if I had your body...honey, I would be swingin' from the trees butt naked in my front yard.

Second, the pictures are of you and your husband...on vacation...enjoying each other with this charming joyful abandon. That is nothing to be embarrassed about. In fact, it says volumes about your marriage and should be celebrated. It's not like you were boozing it up in Vegas playing naked billiards.

Third, if other people are like me, they're disgusted with the paparazzi and aren't going to view the photos. The only way these idiots will quit doing this type of thing is if 'we', the consumers, don't give a flyin' rats arse about it.

Fourth, to Valerie Suau, who shot the pictures...you should be ashamed of yourself. Whatever remuneration you received, you should give it all to breast cancer research...because obviously you're interested in breast awareness. And while you're at it, an apology to Kate Middleton would be most fitting...since you've benefitted from exploiting her.

And lastly...

...trust me Duchess, someday you're going to laugh your head off about this. Who said God doesn't have a rascally delicious sense of humor? Miss Bea

No comments: