dear anna paquin

I ran across your September cover on Nylon magazine and then the subsequent big-ola launch party, and I have to say that I'm really not lovin' the blonde do. Why is it that just about every actress in Hollywood eventually tries a shot of peroxide? Let me just say that sometimes it's best to stick with what your momma gave you. Know what I'm sayin' sweetie? I dug around on the internet and found this picture of you as a brunette...which I'm assuming is closer to your natural color, and wow...it's so much more flattering, don't you think?
Which brings me to your launch party attire...

First of all, is it me, or do you look surprised in just about every picture you take...like you were totally unaware that there were any photographers in the general vicinity of where you are standing...which is an "X" on the floor...in front of an event screen...where everyone is getting their pictures taken by the paparazzi? If I were you honey, I'd spend a little time in front of the mirror and just polish up on your happy face...cuz nobody likes a gloomy gus.

Second, if you insist on keeping the Miss Clairol 74G Moon Glow Blonde, then you need to balance the black dress with a little more color and less saturated black next to your face...unless, of course, you were going for pasty white, which in that case...congratulations Houston, the eagle has landed.

Blonde moments, Miss Bea.