au cher contraire

On occasion, I accompany my husband to social functions...one of which is coming up this week. It's called the "Sugarplum Ball"...a fundraiser for an area hospital. Ten years ago I would have looked forward to shopping for a new dress to wear to such an event, but as of late, I find the whole thing excruciatingly painful...mainly because I have now entered what I call the "camouflage zone"...ie: how can I hide this and conceal that and minimize this and not show too much of that...and ohmygosh how long has THAT been there?!!

...sigh...i miss estrogen.

Anyway...when I looked at this picture of Cher at the premier of the movie Burlesque, my first thought was,"Criminy woman...put some pants on. That dress is one sneeze away from a full moon". Well...actually my "first" thought was, "I really need to get the number of her plastic surgeon". Man. She looks fantastic. But then upon closer inspection, I thought, "Dang if she isn't camouflage dressing herself!" Seriously, besides the dress (aka tunic top) being totally age inappropriate, it really looks to me as if she's 1)trying to hide her arms and 2)trying to hide a thicker waist and not-so-flat tummy.

Photo credit: Coco Perez

And...as my good friend Heidi Klum always says, "Eezer yoo show auf your tooshie or yoo show auf your boobeez, buh chew dun't expose boes aht duh zame dime."

All that blathering to say, "Cher honey...even though your face doesn't show it, your body is hell-bent on hurtling itself down the corridor of time....and there's not a dang thing you can do about it. I have to say though, you look ultra fab, but don't you think the time has come to retire the 'bad girl' image and start embracing this new/old age in your life? For heavens sake girlfriend, you're 64 years old! It doesn't mean you have to wear polyester pull up pants and a pair of ortho shoes, but find a new way of dressing that is you...but a better you and more befitting the woman you've become."

Cher @ the 2010 MTV Awards

See what I mean jellybean? Oh if we could only 'turn back time', Miss Bea

Designed for Cher by Miss Bea Heyvin