here i go again...

I told myself I wasn't going to do this. There are so many people writing about the fashion at the Academy Awards that really...is it necessary for one more person to blather on about it?

...sigh...I have no self-control...

So here it is, my post-Oscar editorial comments...like the world will now collectively sigh with relief that I have weighed in with my opinion.

...someone get me a life...


I give you Miss Bea Heyvin's 2011 Academy Awards "This-Not This"...brought to you by Robo Rooter and Farm Supply where your poop is our business. (not really...I have a tendency to make stuff up...like that's a surprise...)

Why would you ever wear a dress that has an arrow pointing
to your lady junk 'down under'?
"This" gown by designer Chad Ralph Rucci.

Out of all the designers in the world. Out of all the dresses in the world.
This was the winner?...wow. "This" dress by designer Douglas Hannant.

Put the bacon cheeseburger down and get on a treadmill.
It's not a food addiction, it's called discipline and self-control.
"This" dress by Carolina Herrera.

If a disco ball decided to be a dress, this is what it would look like.
"This" gown by designer Juan Carlos Obando.

Just once Cameron, could you dress like a lady and not like a waitress from Hooters?
"This" dress by designer Lela Rose.

Beautiful girl...check. Great hair...check. Killer shoes...check.
Flawless makeup...check. Polka skirt and disco sparkle vest...check.
"This" gown by designer Monique Lhuillier.

"I think I'll wear little tufts of bunny fur on my shoulders".
Hey Diane...little tip...it's really okay to wear another designers clothing.
In this case, it would have been preferrable.
"This" gown by designer Naeem Khan.

What the H-E-double toothpicks is wrong with Rita Wilson?
I think she has single handedly broken the tacky meter.
"This" gown by Pamela Rowland.

Nice boob hole Cate. "This" gown by Valentino.

You're 53. Granted, you look great, but no one wants to see your
53 year old crusty biscuit anymore. Quit stealing stuff from your daughters
closet and grow up. "This" dress by Prabal Gurung.

That's a yeast infection just waiting to happen...