dear julianne moore

You would think after all this time of following celebrity street fashion that I wouldn't be surprised by this, but every time it happens, I'm flummoxed. I mean really Julianne...you actually thought you could leave your home...zip to the neighborhood market without someone taking a picture? Are you daft? Even I know that I can't run out to the mailbox in my camo jams and bed head without every neighbor within a 10 mile radius driving by my house at the same unfortunate time.

My friend, Margaret Mary Louise has a list of grocery staples taped to the inside of one of her kitchen cabinet doors. On the list are all the items she thinks should be in her food pantry all the time. You know...like flour, sugar, evaporated milk, peanut butter, sardines...[involuntary gag]...yes, sardines. Like I said, it's HER list, not mine. Anyway, if I were a celebrity...which I'm not...but if I were, I think I would have a wardrobe checklist...you know, standard wardrobe items that are always in the closet. So that when let's say, you need to walk the dog or run to the market for a can of..."sardines"...you can just pull these items and know, with confidence, that you'll look presentable if there are any paparazzi lying in wait outside your door. For example:

• Trench coat
• Black leggings
• Black turtleneck or white tee
• Wide brim hat
• Dark sunglasses
• Neutral flats or boots (neutral as in black, dark gray, dark brown...it's important to define because neutral to Lady GaGa and neutral to Anna Wintour...well, you get the idea...)
• Variety of scarves

All the pieces would probably be non-descript, because heaven forbid you wear a Burberry trench and end up inadvertently advertising for them without the benefit of getting some type of remuneration.

It doesn't seem like it would be all that difficult, right? Is it me, or is it them...Yea...pretty sure it's them. Miss Bea

Styled for Julianne Moore by Miss Bea Heyvin