my top 10 fashion resolutions for 2012

I know you've all been waiting with anticipation for my list of fashion resolutions for 2012...

[insert the sound of uncomfortable silence here...]

...just humor me people, okay?

My number TEN fashion resolution for 2012 is...

...not wearing my husband's gold toe socks with open toe shoes.

Number NINE...Nordic leggings.

Unless you yodel for a living or own a pair of lederhosen, I see no reason to ever buy a pair of these.

Number EIGHT...fake animal hats.

...who in their right mind ever thought this was a good idea. Where's the ASPCA when you need them?

Number SEVEN...statement skirts.

"Hey look everyone, I bumped into someone and my airbags went off".

My number SIX fashion resolution for 2012...

First of all, when you get to be my age, it goes without saying that for the betterment of society, you just don't wear shorts anymore. But, if you're going to do this, why not just wear a pair of jeans? I mean, really...can you imagine how long it takes to go to the bathroom?

Numero FIVE-O...

...substituting bed linens for clothing. Resourceful, yes. Fashionable, no.

Number FOUR...high waisted jeans.

Here's a factoid straight from the "Wow...I really didn't want to know that" file. If I were to wear a pair of high waisted jeans, I would have to go up 2 waist band sizes in order to accomodate "the girls"...because that's where they are hanging out these days.

My number THREE fashion resolution for 2012 is... not mixing prints.

I don't think I'll be trying this...I'm getting a migraine just looking at it.

Number TWO is...

...none of the above.

And, my number ONE fashion resolution for 2012 is...[drumroll please]

No pants. I figure since clothing manufacturers seem to be unable to produce pants for women with curves, I see no reason to wear them anymore. Stay tuned...I'll let you know how that works out.

Should old acquaintance be forgot...Miss Bea