dear marc jacobs

Dude...seriously? If you want to dress like a girl, there are a couple things you need to know. 

• First, if your whitey-tighties can be seen through your dress, then there's a little thing you should think about wearing. It's called a slip. Make a note of that. 
• Second, either put on some pants, or shave your legs. I would actually lay down the cabbage for you to get your legs waxed...provided you post the video on YouTube.
• And third, I'm fairly sure that Ralph Lauren's ancestors were not pilgrims. So both Ralph and I would like to vehemently request that you never ever put that dress/shoe combo together again...like, ever.

Styled for Marc Jacobs by Miss Bea Heyvin

I enjoy being a girl Marc. So if you're not going to do it justice, then don't do it at all. Harumph, Miss Bea