I think the only thing missing here is Cher leading an audience sing-a-long to "Gypsy's Tramps and Thieves."
If J.D. had a signature fragrance, the description would go something like this...
"This musty aromatic scent opens with a smoky note of stale cigarette. A warm note emanates from the mid tones, thanks to greasy hair paired with a pungent hint of mothballs. In the trail, woody waves of second hand clothing twine with delicate notes of Captain Morgan and a dry down of weed."
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