05 May 2012

smell-a-vision...

...couldn't one of the brainiacs at Apple crank that out? Or could someone just call the Jetson's?

Okay...this is kind of funny...well, I should say that it's funny now, but I've had several hours of stress over it. Many of my friends know my penchant for doing goofy stuff...sometimes intentionally and sometimes not. Like the one time I was absent-mindedly getting dressed to go to work and put my slacks on first and then my under pants. Thank goodness I figured that out before I got out of the house. So, do you remember a blog post I wrote a couple days ago about vintage Dooney & Bourke bags, and how they are making a comeback? mmmhmm. Well, I jumped in and bought a cute all black over-the-shoulder D&B on eBay. So excited! I even emailed the seller and asked if the purse came from a non-smoking home and she confirmed that it did (leather is porous and tends to absorb odor...this is important as you'll see in just a couple seconds).The description was "excellent vintage condition" and the pictures looked really good. So, I bit and bid, winning the auction, paying a little over $25 for the purse. Well, the purse came...I tore open the package and to my dismay, out wafts the unmistakable scent of cat pee.

...oh crap.


literally...


Our noses are the funniest things aren't they? We can smell a poo-filled diaper from 20 paces, but we can't smell the onions from the chili dog we just ate for lunch. I'm convinced that smokers, pet owners and onion-eating co-workers have no idea that they are getting dangerously close to making the EPA air pollution list.

Back to the eBay handbag dilemma...

So I'm trying to make the best of the situation, so I think, "Well, maybe if I spray some tissue paper with Febreze and stuff it in the purse...let it air out for a couple hours, it might be okay."

...nope...

Now it just smells like cat pee with overtones of clean linen.

arrrggghhh...after several hours of stewing about it, I come to the conclusion that I just need to try and return the item to the seller. Have you ever done that on eBay? yeah...trust me, it's never pretty. So how do I delicately communicate, "Uhhhh...you know that purse I bought from you on eBay? Well, I know your listing said that you don't accept returns...and I didn't really ask if it came from a pet-free home, but it smells like your cat used it as a litter box and I don't want it."

...that should go over well.

Anyway, after writing and re-writing my response to the seller, I finally said a prayer and pressed "send". Negative eBay buyer feedback, here I come. To make a long blog entry longer, I did hear back from the seller that, "I don't know what odor you're detecting because we don't have pets." OH COME ON!!! But, she did say that she would take back the purse, of course I have to pay to ship it back and will not recoup my original shipping cost...so let's see...

handbag $25.75
shipping $6.50
return shipping $6.50 plus insurance and delivery confirmation

you do the math...

All of that to say, if you're going to purchase a vintage bag...Dooney or otherwise. Just be careful and check it out first. I wouldn't purchase via eBay unless the seller has a return policy. As for me...I think it's "new and unused" from now on.

Martini's anyone? Miss Bea

nice meeting you...but I'm afraid it's over.

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