hope sprung a leak

Meryl...sweetie...I love you to pieces...I really do. In my opinion, you are one of the best actresses ever (Dame Judi Dench, if you're reading this, don't be dismayed...you are right at the tippy top of my list too).

So Mer-mer...seriously...I don't understand how this happens. It's not like you can't afford a stylist. It's not as if every designer out there wouldn't bend over backwards to dress you. It's not that you don't have enough money or like this is your first time at the rodeo.

...sigh...you totally be-fuddle me.

This dress looks like something you picked up at TJMaxx...on the clearance rack...in 1985. Yes, the shoes are Loub's, but your feet look like a Pug going through a rat hole backwards. I've seen more fashionable belts on Olympic weight lifters and the clutch is just way too glam for what you're wearing.

...whew...that was kind of harsh...somebody had mean beans for breakfast...

Just an aside here...why do celebrities wear red on a red carpet? Anyone? Bueller? It's tantamount to wearing camouflage in the woods. And yes, if a tree falls in the forest you can hear it screaming, "Meryl...hire a freekin' stylist already!"

So here's a look designed especially for you...

Designed for Meryl Streep by Miss Bea Heyvin

The Giambattista Valli dress cinches in the middle, creating a waistline and hiding...uh...stuff. You could add a small shoulder pad to help with your droopy posture. ooopss...you did know you had that, right? You're 63...and before you break a hip, I'd suggest that you start wearing a kitten heel rather than a 4 inch stiletto. Trust me, your feet and legs will thank you. Minimal and clean lined accessories finish the look. AND...remember, your eyewear is also an accessory. If you aren't going to wear contact lenses on the red carpet, then I'd love to see you with a variety of frames, from vintage to modern...mix it up...there's a whole other world out there babycakes.

I'm not trying to be snarky, I just want you to look as fabulous as you already are. Hugs, Miss Bea