rumer doesn't have it

I really don't make it a habit to ding on the younger celebrities. I figure that in time, they will grow into their own style...or make enough money in the industry to afford a stylist to dress them. But, I just can't let this go on any longer. Rumer...honey...consider this some tough love from your Auntie B. First of all, let me just say that I cannot even begin to imagine what it's like to have celebrity parents. A mom who seems to be defying time and gravity. A dad who just married someone...well, let's call a spade a spade...both your mom and dad married "someones" who are half their age, which is also "your" age, which is just icky. For me, that alone would be enough to program Dr. Phil on my speed dial. So, I guess since you've come from Hollywood royalty, so to speak, I've made an incorrect assumption about you. In my head, it seems to me that all this public-personna-get-dolled-up-deal would be second nature to you...but, unfortunately it appears that is not the case. Let's take your recent red carpet appearance at the MTV Movie Awards as an example.

I'm getting a migraine just looking at this. Okay, let's start with a few basics. If you're going to be taken seriously in Hollywood, you better start dressing like a star, rather than some frumpy schlumpy co-ed who glued her art project onto her roomate's tube dress. That thing you're wearing may be a designer piece, but it looks like crap, and it does all the wrong things to your body.

Next basic to consider. Know your physical flaws and work with what you have. Fashion is all about 'illusion'...finding the right makeup-hairstyle-dress-whatever to conceal the bad and accentuate the good. For example, it probably doesn't come as a big surprise to you that you have a long face. So, it stands to reason that pulling your hair back away from your face and wearing a strapless dress is equal to yelling into a bullhorn, "Hey everyone, look at my really long face". So, at least a couple ways to go at this would be,

1)get a haircut that flatters your face
2)get a haircolor that doesn't glow-in-the-dark


Hmmm...I'm not sure this helped. Anyway...

3)wear earrings that will draw the eye up and out
4)choose dresses that have wider straps or boatnecks

Lastly, take some modeling classes and learn not only how to use light and angles to pose for a picture, but also how to stand. As my mother always said, "Pull your shoulders back honey or you'll end up all hunched over like Aunt Tillie." And none of us want that now do we.

TTFN, Miss B.