menopause at the Emmy's

You'll be excited to know that menopause was alive and well at last night's Primetime Emmy Awards. Yea. I'm sure you're about as excited as I was. Well, before we get into that, let's take a look at my red carpet favorites.

Ahhh. So lovely. So petite. So young. I remember those days when my girls knew the meaning of perky.

sigh...good times.

And then we have the menopause contigency...

Except for Phoebe Price, who looks like she just had a major take down in the bathroom with the toilet paper dispenser prior to stepping onto the red carpet. It's never good to wear a dress that looks like you've been T.P.'d by a gang of high school seniors. That's going to be a mess if it starts to rain.

Anyway, so when I looked at Jessica Lange and Elizabeth Perkins, I thought, "Uh oh. Looks like menopause just pulled them through a knot hole backwards". The thickening waist...the tatas that suddenly have a mind of their own and are making their way south. The upper arms that just yesterday were firm...now today flap in the breeze. I'm with you ladies. I feel your pain. I've been there and have the hot flashes to prove it. So since I am a comrade in the march against time, here are a couple things that have worked for me:

1)Even though it's a formal occasion, think about doing a cocktail dress instead of a gown. Especially if you have a great set of gams. I think the additional fabric in a gown can sometimes make us older gals look more matronly. A little leg and a great high heel can do wonders.

2)If you're concerned about flabby upper arms, wear a sheer wrap or a stole that can drape over that part of your body. In the meantime, get some 2 pound weights and start whippin' those babies into shape.

3)Watch your silhouettes. I think the Badgely/Mischka dress below is a fabulous figure flatterer because the dress actually skims the body, but the chiffon conceals flaws in a translucent-floaty kind of way. You get the best of both worlds.


Estrogen...I miss you, Miss Bea.