17 November 2009

dear patricia heaton

What is wrong with you?

Did your momma not teach you anything about modesty and decorum?

I guess you can label me 'an old fuddy duddy', but I just don't get this look...and I don't get why in the world you would ever consider it. This is the kind of attention you don't want, or maybe you do. Hmmm? There's a creepy thought. Anyway, in my opinion, you aren't dressing for the female contingency at the CMAs...cause they all have a pair of these and more than likely aren't real interested in looking at yours. That being said, they probably aren't very interested in their significant others looking at them either. I think it's never a good idea to foray your assets around like a couple of cheap balloons. To quote Serge from movie Beverly Hills Cop, "Eees no sexy...eees ah-nee-mahl". So next time honey, cover up those crumb catchers of yours and leave a little mystery for the rest of us.

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, Miss Bea.

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