Red carpet recap...2011 Grammy's

...you know when you're in the grocery store?

...and someone announces "clean up on aisle 9"?

...pretty much my sentiments regarding this years Grammy red carpet.

For best use of duct tape...the award goes to...

For most likely to explode upon sitting down...

Gram'ma Funk...kudos for repurposing your old shower curtain too.

I see your twoo cuhwers are bwack.

I'd like to personally thank Rihanna for reminding us once again 

to just say no to crack.

Home Depot is proud to sponsor Katy Perry as this years Vis Queen.

Katy will be signing autographs later in aisle 7, next to the replacement windows.

Hey Barry? uhmmm, yea...the 1980's called and they'd like you to 

Copacabana yourself into the 2000's.

Three words...

AHHHH-OOOO-GAH!!!

Tack-o-grammy

The Grammy Awards are tomorrow night...woo hoo [she said sarcastically]...like we need one more opportunity to inflate the ego-centricity of this group of narcissists.

...oooo...that was a little harsh...

Anyway, Grammy fashion has always had the reputation for being a tad more edgy, with the tack-o-meter gigging like a trucker after a burrito buffet. But, whether sublime or ridiculous, it's like a train wreck you just can't stop staring at.

So here are pics of the 2010 red carpet with my fashion recommendations. [I'm sure Beyonce and Taylor are biting their nails wondering what to wear tomorrow...] 

Elie Saab may be a little to sophisticated for Beyonce,
but one can always hope she'll up her game.

I'd love to see Fergie in this flirty little number from Giles Deacon.

Maybe a dress Lady Gaga could actually sit down in...
and with a little Pledge she could make herself useful
and dust at the same time.
[Dress by Marchesa]

Heidi in Byblos

Kidman in Donna Karan

Rihanna in Pedro Laurenco

I like Taylor Swift's style. I think she'd look gorgeous in this Dennis Basso gown.

Carrie Underwood in one of my new favorite designer, Alexis Mabile.

Moons over Miami by Jennifer Hudson. sheesh...
 Gown by Carlos Miele.

Miranda, the days of buying a gown off the rack at David's Bridal are over for you.
Time to put on your big girl panties and make friends with Elie Saab.

Katy Perry in Giafranco Ferre.