CFDA 4COL

The 2011 CFDA (Council of Fashion Designers of America) Fashion Awards took place last Monday, June 6th in New York. Just my opinion, but I would have to say that the big apple hasn't seen that much crazy since 2005 when the The Ringling Brothers decided to winter over in Hoboken.

...for cryin' outloud, what a cretinous freak show. And this from the people who call the fashion shots for the rest of us...at least for us poor dolts in the U.S. I know, I sound like a broken record, but I just don't get it...I really don't. Is it possible to be creative and not be a loon?

Grace Coddington

...obviously not.

Uhmm, yea Daphne? A little fashion tip from little 'ol me. Just because you own all these designer pieces doesn't mean you should wear them all at the same time. It's called 'editting' darling. Mark that down.

Kudos to Anna Wintour for repurposing grandma's crocheted pot holders.

Hi! I'm Diane Von Furstenberg, President of the CFDA and queen of my own fashion empire. Of all the things I could have worn to this event, my latest creation, inspired by my shower curtain, is what I decided would be perfect.

Nice plug for your new accessory line girls. Very subtle.

Hey Vera? We all get it. You're a minimalist. But, would it kill you to wear just a little mascara and lipgloss?  Surprise us next time, m'kay?

For best reenactment of a senior prom, the award goes to...

Hillary Alexander, former fashion director for The Telegraph. I'd like to tatoo "Help Me" on her forehead.

Oh Betsey Johnson...sigh. One thing for sure, at least you're consistent with your design aesthetic. Remind me again...your design aesthetic is...???

For best impersonation of a Kewpie doll...Erin Fetherston.

And the night could not have gotten any more bizarre then by the CFDA awarding Lady Gaga, "Fashion Icon of the Year".

If I remember correctly, the definition of 'icon' is "a person regarded as a representative of a symbol of something".

I'm just taking a broad uneducated guess on this one, but I'm pretty sure this 'icon's' (and I use that term loosely) trend has no chance in H-E-double toothpicks of catching on in the midwest. Not unless you unearth a drywaller/paper hanging nudist colony. Think about it, Miss Bea

Tack-o-grammy

The Grammy Awards are tomorrow night...woo hoo [she said sarcastically]...like we need one more opportunity to inflate the ego-centricity of this group of narcissists.

...oooo...that was a little harsh...

Anyway, Grammy fashion has always had the reputation for being a tad more edgy, with the tack-o-meter gigging like a trucker after a burrito buffet. But, whether sublime or ridiculous, it's like a train wreck you just can't stop staring at.

So here are pics of the 2010 red carpet with my fashion recommendations. [I'm sure Beyonce and Taylor are biting their nails wondering what to wear tomorrow...] 

Elie Saab may be a little to sophisticated for Beyonce,
but one can always hope she'll up her game.

I'd love to see Fergie in this flirty little number from Giles Deacon.

Maybe a dress Lady Gaga could actually sit down in...
and with a little Pledge she could make herself useful
and dust at the same time.
[Dress by Marchesa]

Heidi in Byblos

Kidman in Donna Karan

Rihanna in Pedro Laurenco

I like Taylor Swift's style. I think she'd look gorgeous in this Dennis Basso gown.

Carrie Underwood in one of my new favorite designer, Alexis Mabile.

Moons over Miami by Jennifer Hudson. sheesh...
 Gown by Carlos Miele.

Miranda, the days of buying a gown off the rack at David's Bridal are over for you.
Time to put on your big girl panties and make friends with Elie Saab.

Katy Perry in Giafranco Ferre.

give pants a chance

Give Pants a Chance
John Lennon

Ev'rybody's talkin' 'bout
Chinos, dungarees, culottes, breeches, hip-huggers, pedal-pushers
this-leggin, that-leggin, leggin leggin leggin
All we are saying is give pants a chance
All we are saying is give pants a chance

(C'mon)
Ev'rybody's talkin' 'bout
Hot pants, cargo pants, sweat pants and drawstring
Hipster, blue jeans, khakis, dungarees, please, please, pretty please
All we are saying is give pants a chance
All we are saying is give pants a chance

All we are saying is give pants a chance
All we are saying is give pants a chance
(Repeat 'til your head hurts)

gaga over the queen

Hey LG...

...sweetie...

Cirque du Soleil is on the line. Uhmm, yea. They want to know when they can get their stuff back.

On behalf of the American people...not that I have any position or authority...but none the less, as a citizen of the United States, I feel a duty, nay, a compelling obligation to apologize to the Queen and her subjects. [yep...you got it...high horse and I'm gettin' on it]

harrrrumph...

Good Lord LG, it's the queen...you know...not Latifah, the actual QUEEN...as in Her-Royal-Highness-Her-Majesty-I've-Got-A-Freeking-Ship-Named-After-Me-Reigning-Monarch and High-Uppity-Up THEEEE QUEEEEEN [Big 'ol "Q"] of E-N-G-L-A-N-D!!!

oh...good grief.

At least you had enough sense to curtsy when she greeted you...even if you didn't have enough sense to change out of that flame-retardant circus tarp.

Mind you...I know that not everyone will agree with me, and I'm totally fine with that. But, here's the deal for me...we know nothing of royalty in the United States. Further, we think the world revolves around us. People from other countries consider us arrogant and pompous...and frankly, we are. We foster an 'entitlement' mentality and lifestyle...the more we get, the more we want something else. Lack of respect for authority...for the elderly...for that matter, lack of respect for humanity period is reducing our culture to moral mush.

...wow...note to self...someone needs to switch to decaf...

Anyhoo LG...would it have killed you to change into something a tad more dignified...just to honor and respect the Queen? There are certain rules of decorum that I think are still relevant today...like wearing black to a funeral or not wearing white to a wedding. I'm not sayin' you should become something you're not, but just ratchet the kooky down a bit. Know what I'm sayin'?

Control your poison babe, roses have thorns they say...Miss Bea.

GaGa Photo credit: www.wenn.com

crack me up

Photo credit: DZILLA/bauergriffin.com

This is what you get when you wear a pool floatation device as a piece of clothing. A double fingered hook and pull for Lady Wedgie...er uh, I mean, Lady GaGa. I guess you can't pay someone enough to do that for you.

Gaga no no

"Man my head is killing me. 

I feel like I've forgotten something, but I can't think what it is."